Oct 19, 2010

A Day Off?

I'm sitting in my bed, playing with my blog today....You see, it's my birthday. My children have decided there are two things that they can give to me...a clean house, or a day off. My children don't want to clean the house today, so they've told me I get a day off :)

Ah! How do mothers do it all day without children! :) I have looked at every blog in the universe. Changed my own several times. Deleted over 200 emails and organized 200 more. Listened to several general conference talks, and homeschooling talks, read things I wanted to get read, and taken a nap. IT'S ONLY 11:oo AM!

I remember when I first began homeschooling and was talking with my friend who introduced me to tjed; and I asked her...what do you do when you need a break? She looked at me with a funny look on her face and I realized...SHE DOESN'T NEED A BREAK. How could that be? How could a mother not need to have a break from her children...doesn't she need time for herself, doesn't she need to fill her cup, doesn't she need a break from the work...physical and mental?

I also remember thinking I will never get there. I will never become that person. It took four years, but I remember the day that my husband said...why don't you go out, why don't you visit with your friends, why don't you take a class. And I realized I didn't need to. I don't need a break from my children. I love them. They are a part of me. They make my days full and joyfull. (I do not have perfect children, often their little tendencies drive me a little crazy, they still rough house, make messes and neglect things I think they should do....but I don't need a break from these things) When there is something I don't love about my child I realize what is happening is really that I need to do some teaching, some training, some more loving. You see, I have accepted my role as the mother of this home. It is my job to make my home what I would like it to be. If I am unhappy here it is my job to change it. Needing a break is (for me) just running away from the problems that need to be fixed.

The world teaches us as women and especially as mothers that we are entitled to a break, to do something for ourselves, to go to lunch with our friends, to talk on the phone all day, to escape from our "reality" for a minute, to have "time out for women" (pun intended). But I do not think that is what the Lord teaches us. I know it is not what Julie B Beck, our general relief society president is teaching (since I just finished listening to her talk again). She counseled us not to be "silly" women, she counseled us not to spend money on things which have no value, she counseled us to pray and to read our scriptures. We don't need our mothers, sisters, friends, confidants, neighbors to get those things done. We just need the Lord.

Well, I don't know how much more of this time off I can stand. I think I'll sneak out of my room and see if I get caught....well, maybe after one more nap :)

(disclaimer....I just wanted to point our that I do not think that enriching yourself, going to lunch, talking or the phone, or going to a seminar are evil or wrong or not what the Lord wants. What I do think is wrong is when we put those things above our families or above the Lord and what He wants us to my opinon :) )


  1. I have found the same thing in my own life. The more I stay at home to really teach and spend time with my children the less I need a day off. In fact I never want a day off. It's going to be sad when I don't get to hang out with these little people all day anymore. I'd better have lots of grandchildren!

  2. I love this post sooo much!!! You beautifully stated what I've been trying to explain to other mothers for what feels like ages. I'd love to send some of my friends and blog followers to this post. Would you mind?

    1. This is so beautiful. I feel like I am sitting across from you over a salad. Love you!

  3. I needed this post! Thank you Julie. I know it will take a while, but I hope I get to where you are really soon. How do you shut those outside things out without hurting those who want to see you? I have so many questions and Holly says just to call you or LeeAnn and not worry if I am bugging you. I guess if you didn't have time you wouldn't pick up the phone right?

  4. I think it looks like I am stalking you :). I should get to bed, but couldn't resist reading another post. Have a fabulous Christmas!